Three teacups...

'Fact' and 'I' have essential difference causing a gap between them, and even that changes the way to do my best. I always need to moderate myself. I always need to live as truly as 'I'. Don't try to be other beings around me. I made my destiny through my decision. I make out the destiny and I have to undertake cause and effect undr the cycle of destiny. I must endure any results to live my life as truly as I can. I always try to find the right way to follow. But now, I am not that much insightful enough to penetrate 'Fact'.
I had been lack of endurances and continuity for a long time. I am writing this essay with my flavor. But that maybe wrong way for me to follow. Actually, I am not good at English very much. My ability is too insufficient to fulfill my goal right now. I don't know ultimately that my decision or behavior is true or not in the present. Unforgettable present, but present is memorized as past by future. The future will be memorized by the present through the path of the past. Living in the present, do my best. Although I can't judge on self-focused matter, I am writing this essay with my satisfaction. I make the present through my perception. I am a student. I need to fulfill a lot of things to make my dreams come true. Maybe, writing is not appropriate work for me. But I do. To summarize and concrete the existence of 'I' myself. I can balance anything through my efforts. To be improved, to be progressed, I must find 'I' and practice 'I' myself. I see 'Fact', but that may not be 'Fact'. Because I make the fact. Through my perception, I make the fact inside of me, not outside of me. Outside of me, there would be real. I am accustomed to the fact inside of me too much. I must be able to see the fact outside of me which would be real. I am nothing now but I hope I would be 'I' in real. I see through my results about my lack of efforts, my poor writing. But I see the possibility, too. Empty enable everything to be existed in the universe. I must ask questions and try to get the answers in the present. Maybe, I will not be able to get what I've wanted for my life, or forever. Do not try to judge on myself. This is wrong. Everything could have its own meaning, but that is wrong. I must endure, above all, I must enjoy everything concerned on me, and try to make it positive in my way. The absolute itself could not be caught forever in the present, or in the time table. I must endure on it ultimately. In the form of matter, where is the way for me to run? That is Mathematics. Simple but weak, illogical sentences make me down but I become pretty sure about what I have to do. That means I become known about my feelings. I became the absolute through the floor of feelings. I can't know about the absolute but I could know how I fill myself with efforts. Maybe that is the best way for me to get 'I'. First, I must do my best in the works I need to do in the present. Be aware of everything around me. Do not attach to artificial matter hanging on it. Just aim at describing and practicing your own mind and will. I describe and practice the source of 'I': Will.
Every single matter all over the world would be chance. Read books and try to be accustomed the role of the world. Try to be best at the textbook that I learn. Do not try to judge on 'I', you will never do. But try to realize 'I'. Try to be evolved myself. Scheme, plan, practice. Remember there is some degrees that I must keep in mind. See the road. Make your noble but high aim, and enjoy the way to aim during the trip. Try to make everything bright and positive. I mean do not attach yourself make everything under your control, but try it. Do not rely on feelings, catch the real present. I realize the real from me. Because there is 'I' that I will realize.